Paris Will Ruin Robbie's Peace

February 16, 2008

Robbie Williams’ peaceful exile in LA is about to come crashing to a halt thanks to his new neighbour from hell – Paris Hilton.

Pop grump Robbie is livid that the hotel heirhead has moved in down the road from him in sleepy Mulholland Estates.

Not only that, Paris has already started work transforming the basement into her very own nightclub behind the gates of the exclusive development.

Now, I’ve never been a huge fan of Paris but suddenly she is growing on me — anything that winds up miserable Robbie should be applauded.

I’m going to send her a package of some industrial-strength German techno and GARY BARLOW’s greatest hits to put on loop when she’s out.

My man in LA said: “Paris has a new house five doors down from Robbie Williams — and he is spitting mad about it. Robbie sped past her the other day in a chauffeur-driven car and completely ignored her.

Clubs

“He hasn’t got any time for her and would rather they didn’t have any contact with each other.

“She is in the process of building a disco underneath her mansion so she can keep the parties going long after the clubs shut. If the late-night high jinks start disturbing Robbie, he will be absolutely furious.

“I think it’s safe to say Robbie will not be popping round to her house for a cup of tea.”

Robbie turns 33 today and he is becoming a bit of a Victor Meldrew in his old age.

The beardy pop knob has been talking about how he spends his time playing Scrabble with his old man PETE CONWAY.

Now he’s off the class A drugs and the ale he is a regular in Starbucks, feeding his caffeine hunger.

The pop porker is partial to the odd muffin too.

Robbie has an album due out this year — when he decides to end his strike from EMI.

He should get on with it. By the sounds of things his new material will finally be Robbie back doing the job that made him popular.

As I revealed, he has been working with Chaz Jankel from the The Blockheads, who penned the music for classic hits such as Rhythm Stick.

Rob has also been seen kicking about with crackpot former goalkeeper and TV presenter David Icke.

He should send Icke around to see Paris.

That oddball would soon have her running for the Hollywood Hills...